Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
