Me too!
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
