Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
