there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
