we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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