Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
