Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
