Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Randomize
