I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
pray to the hookup gods
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
