Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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