My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
