I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
