We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
