is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
