And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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