Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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