I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
