His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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