just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
