I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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