How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
