Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
