yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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