I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
