i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
