Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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