hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize