We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I am one with the molecules
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
