I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
