I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
