only if we run a train.
done.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize