I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
