I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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