The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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