I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
