Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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