I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize