How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
