I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
