I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Randomize
