ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You're like the curious george of whores
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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