so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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