I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
