I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
