i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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