well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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