I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Blood and glitter go together right?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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