it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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