so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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