I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize