Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
