Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize