At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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