tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
