Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
