Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
