wake up i wanna do it froggy style
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
