He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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