just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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