Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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