When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
