I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
