booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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