I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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